


Captain Octopus

by marawinchester (crazygirlattemptswriting)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 15:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazygirlattemptswriting/pseuds/marawinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim's an octopus (not literally). Apparently octopuses are afraid of Admirals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Octopus

James T. Kirk is a cuddly octopus during shore leave. A cuddly octopus who won't let go or wake up, even if he is the goddamn captain.

On this particular morning, Leo wakes up to see an annoyed First Officer staring down at them.

“Good morning, Spock,” Leo says through a yawn. “Can I help you?”

“The Captain is required on the bridge,” Spock says in a clipped tone that suggests Jim was required on the bridge some time ago. “When no one answered the comm, I finally had Chief Engineer Scott wire the door open for me.”

“Sorry,” Leo apologizes. “I'm a heavy sleeper and Jim, well, Jim wouldn't get up if there was a cheerleader with a bullhorn in the room.”

“I would if she was hot,” murmurs a voice into Leo's shoulder. Leo grins.

“Ah, the sleeping princess awakens at last.”

“Shove it,” Jim mutters. “I'm going back to sleep. Make Spock leave.”

“He's your First Officer, not mine,” Leo says to Jim before shrugging apologetically at Spock. Spock frowns.

“As Captain, I order you to make him leave,” Jim whines.

“He outranks me,” Leo points out as he lightly kisses the top of Jim's head.

“And he's right here,” Spock says testily. With a sigh Jim rolls off of Leo and blinks up at Spock. 

“Spock, as Captain, I order you to deal with whatever the emergency is.”

“Don't you wish to know what the situation is before you push it off on me?” Spock asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Not particularly,” Jim yawns, “unless it involves hot aliens or crew members removing their clothing. Unless it's Bones removing his clothes, because chances are it's because I ordered him to.” Leo whacks him with a pillow for that. Spock looks at a loss for words. 

“What kind of Captain leaves their First Officer to welcome guests?” asks a familiar voice that has Jim scrambling out of bed and saluting, wearing nothing but his boxers. Leo is a bit slower to get up but at least he grabs some pants first.

“Good morning, Admiral,” Leo greets Pike. 

Pike raises his eyebrows. “Good afternoon, Doctor McCoy.”

“Oh.” Bones shoots Spock a dirty look. “Commander Spock didn't inform me it was afternoon.”

“You didn't ask,” Spock responds coolly.

Pike smiles. “He also hasn't informed Kirk that he's not wearing any pants.”

“Shit,” mutters Jim. “Bones, give me my pants.” 

Spock sighs loudly, and Leo raises his voice to be heard over him. “Way to blow any chance of us playing this off, Jim.”

Pike laughs. “It's okay, gentleman. I understand. Relationships between crew are discouraged, but not banned.”

“Very discouraged,” Spock says in a disapproving voice.

“Yes, that explains why Lieutenant Uhura answered the door at your room, Spock,” Pike says while still looking at Jim and Leo. Spock turns slightly green.

“If anyone needs me, I'll be on the bridge.” Spock turns and hurries out.

“Huh. I didn't know he could blush,” Leo comments. 

Jim just laughs. “Did you see the look on his face?” he crows.

Pike smiles. “It was almost as good as the look on your face when you realized you weren't wearing any pants.”

Now it's Jim's turn to blush. “Well, umm, yeah. If I'd known you were coming I'd have been dressed and letting you on board myself. I'd even make Bones clean up his room.”

Leo frowns. “This is your room! Don't blame your messy habits on me.”

Before Jim can argue Pike cuts in again. “No, you're fine, Kirk. I mean, I don't fit under either of your categories of 'hot alien' or 'crew member taking their clothes off', so I understand that I'm not a priority to meet with.”

Jim turns even redder and stutters while Leo laughs his ass off. 

“I, umm, sir, you see, umm, _it's not that funny, Bones, shut up!_ ”

“That's what you get for not caring when I take my clothes off,” Leo shoots back. He hunts through a clothes pile on the floor to find his shirt. It's wrinkled, but will do. 

“Excuse me, Admiral,” he says with a nod to Pike. “Someone's got to run medbay.”

Pike nods. “Of course, Doctor.”

Leo pauses at the door for one last comment. “Hey Admiral, don't be surprised if Spock or I start asking you to visit more often.”

Pike looks surprised. “Why would you do that?”

Leo glances at Jim and smirks. “Because you walking in woke Jim up faster than when I jab him with a hypospray.”

“I hate it when you do that,” Jim announces. 

Leo rolls his eyes. “It's the only way to get you up and alert in twenty minutes some days. Pike showing up worked in ten minutes and you haven't sworn or thrown things at me yet.”

“Fuck you,” Jim says loudly.

Leo lets his smile grow brittle. “That's not what you were saying last night.” Jim blushes even more. If he's not careful he'll turn the same shade as Nyota's uniform. Pike has a straight face, but his eyes are crinkling like he's laughing. 

“You'd better hold on to this one, Kirk. I like him.”

Leo snorts. “If he holds me any tighter he'll strangle me. He's a goddamn octopus in the morning.”

“I don't ever hear you complaining,” Jim says pointedly, with his arms crossed. He still hasn't found any pants. He looks pathetic and pissed at the same time. 

Leo softens his eyes and grabs some pants-his actually-from by the door and tosses them to Jim. “Yeah, well, maybe I like octopuses.”


End file.
